"but i hate blogs! i never read them! it's like carefully reading everything in the bathroom stall: it only makes sense if you've got a lot of shit to unload, and even then you certainly shouldn't be asking other people to join you."
(yeah, sorry about that. thanks for joining!)
"no but i really think we should start one called dueling fatwas."
"yeah, alright, fuggit."
i mean, lookit this shit: oh no, a substandard actor has been cast in big roles and made a bad movie! oh no, my dorito's bag has something affected and silly written on it! (any more behind the curve on that one and you have to start saying "what's the deal with that?" at the end of your sentences. you saw harold & kumar, right?) oh my goodness, sitcoms in the 60s were kind of sexist! fucking shocker. [gasp!] the daily show is sorta bland; that's sticking it to the man.
blogging in general and this blog especially are a modern device whereby you are encouraged to fritter away precious time and mind space that might otherwise be used productively; the end result is an intellectual eunuch who has actively participated in his own castration. all this shit-churning saecular nonsense; fuck it! and fuck you fucking fuckers for reading it. go tweet about your favorite facefuck game or something.
shame on you.
Navel-gazing is useful if you want to find out about what's going on with navels.
ReplyDeleteah, what baker-white referred to as "omphalaskepsis."
ReplyDeleteokay, i'll bite:
what's going on with navels? are there any new developments, some new technology?
because i have to admit the lint is pretty annoying to me and could totally go for a quick solution to the problem.
The human navel is a safe harbor for hundreds, if not thousands, of types of bacteria: http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2011-07/belly-button-bacteria-study-yields-hundreds-new-species
ReplyDeleteOnce could compare the "blog-sphere" to a poorly maintained human navel belonging to an apathetic quadriplegic. The quick solution to the problem is to clean it, however there doesn't appear anyone around who cares to clean it or is capable of cleaning it. And so the bacteria grows...
My only defense, oh faqih of mine, is - this is an antidote to isolation and even when you curse me, I'm relieved to hear from adults who use whatever fucking words they want, when they want, to whom they want.
ReplyDelete