[thanks to Mujtahid JB; i'm retarded and don't know how to post this as you - Dor]
You've all heard me rant about God knows what for Lord knows how long, but these commercials are getting offensive. I only see these commercials because of Sunday and Monday night football. If it wasn't for RedZone (commercial free football on Sunday afternoon) I would probably have cerebral spinal fluid leaking out of my nose.
The first group of commercials that bother me are the "Santa Suggestion" commercials. These feature some inept person who is baffled by the gift giving process and needs a fictional creation to get their loved one some crap they do not need. Santa is a marketing tool used on children. I get that. Using Santa to tell some dumbass that he needs to go to Zales, Kay's or some other shitty jewelry shop because she wants some crap necklace is insulting. Santa's most retarded elf could design better jewelry. This target audience should not be allowed anywhere near a mall.
The next group of commercials that grind my gears (wait for it) are these moronic car commercials (there it is). Santa does not drive a Benz, let alone a little red convertible one. He is not a trophy wife or a skinny, effeminate Asian guy. My parents would never drive off in my car because it is so much better and cooler than their car, no matter what I got. They would criticize me for having mailed them a key in advance so that they could drive off with the car behind my back. Actually, they would criticize me for just about anything. Then mom would make me cocoa and it'd be okay. The other bizzare car commercial features attractive women buying some d-bag lounging around her house a Lexus. I would like to know where these women hang out and explain to them that I'd be perfectly happy to quit my job, work out every day, and lounge around in a turtle neck. In the land of 5 o'clock shadows I make women walk funny and there isn't much I wouldn't do for a Lexus.
And who are the idiots who approve commercials with elves? Is there a secret underground society of little people who come out just for the holidays to milk this for all it's worth? Singing elves terrify me and I congratulate T-Mobile on helping me better visualize what hell will be like.
