"Mouth-feel" is not a word. Stop using it. The word you're looking for is "texture." It's a good word. Use it. Better yet, nobody needs to hear anyone describing the texture of cheese. If you want to let me taste the cheese, I will figure that out. Otherwise, I don't care what the texture of the cheese is.
All wine tastes like grapes. If you think it smells like strawberries, then you either have never smelled a strawberry or you don't know what grapes smell like. Strawberries never smell like grapes and you will note that nobody pays over thirty dollars for a bottle of anything made out of strawberries to describe how it smells like something other than strawberries because that would be so incredibly stupid that even imbecile hipsters haven't started doing that. Wine tastes like fermented grapes. The alcohol is numbing your taste buds and causing the wiring in there to go a little haywire sending mixed signals to your brain such as "this grape juice tastes like nuts and berries" and "that person over there looks much prettier now than fifteen minutes ago" or "Will Ferrell is funny." The texture of wine is liquid. It has no "mouth-feel."
It is the opinion of this jurist that while freedom of speech is paramount in keeping free will and expression (which is necessary for true faith) it is preferable to dispense with such hipster food adjective language. While this fatwa does not ban the use of such language, the world would be a better place without it and as such I will issue a strong rebuke to discourage the use of it.
on a related note, fatwa on the cow who left a bottle of strawberry liquor at the house in mexico. impossible to pawn off on other people and unthinkable to actually drink, giving someone a bottle of "sabor de fresa" is like giving them a breadmaker that only makes fruitcake...with herpes.
ReplyDeleteUPDATE: Mufti Dor's father claims he can taste the strawberries. Mufti Dor is now saving up to buy his father some strawberries.
ReplyDeleteon an unrelated note, you know what your grandmother calls a mixture of equal parts wheat flour and fat? gravy. if you add some milk, it's cream gravy.
you can call it a "roux" if you want, but your grandma is laughing at your pretentious ass.